3/12/16    Ewwwwwww...

If you know me, even a little bit, you know I hate being sick.  Of course no-one likes being sick. You are stuck at home, feel like crap, can't function normally, and sometimes literally can't get out of bed or you can't risk being more than ten feet from a toilet.  The truth for me at least, I really don't mind the common cold.  I can tolerate a couple days of sore throat and being congested for a week.  In fact, if you go out in public at all, you can catch a cold by doing literally nothing but breathing...the viruses go airborne when people sneeze and cough. What I really hate, no...what I really FEAR, is the other kind of illness that is fairly common - the stomach bug.  I legitimately have a fear of vomiting.  It freaks me out, I hate the feeling, it's disgusting, it just scares me.  I haven't << knock on wood >> vomited from a stomach bug in 16 years and the main reason for it is because I take basic precautions.  I'm not going to get into them specifically, but it involves hand washing before I put my hands near my mouth.  It's amazing to me how many people don't wash their hands after touching community objects and then go eat slimy ribs or a sandwich at their favorite (casino) restaurant. Buffets are the worst!!  You don't need me to tell you how many people touch those tongs and forks and spoons and scoops and ladles and ...ugh...all after not washing their hands in the bathroom or using their hands as a sneeze catcher.  Then once you've obtained all those community germs on your fingertips and palms, you go back to your table and use those same hands to eat from.  Hello!!!  You are going to get sick!

The truth is, people playing slots are the worst. I've actually seen a guy spit on a slot machine screen because he won $1.50 on a bonus.  He was so pissed - he spit!  He kept playing as the gob or mucus flowed down his 3X5 array of ever changing symbols. Then there is the nose pickers...yea, yea, we all have to rub our noses, especially in the desert, but please don't do it at a slot.  Those same fingers are now pressing that max bet button for everyone to enjoy.  I know, I know,  I rarely max bet, but still. :)  Hmmm..what else....oh right, why not have a full blown meal at a slot machine so you can run those greasy fingers all over the screen as you pick eggs or chests or coins or whatever.  NEWS FLASH - have you ever seen a cleaning person at a casino Windex a slot screen...eventually any goop on there just falls off or gets smeared to create a transparent even coat of snot and chicken fat slime all over the screen.  

So yes, I rant, I feel better now. Go on out there and have fun at your favorite casino but fair warning, there's more to a buffet line and a slot machine than you knew. Happy Slotting!  -DP

Next Blog:  I See Gay People (Coming week of 3/13)

Aladdins Gold Casino
DProxima's Slots

A bit of humor, a bit of realism, and a whole lot of casino!